untung gw udah mandi...dari tadi rasanya bauuu banget...
and i just realized it's been a while since i posted and well...the tables had turned since then. The tables had turned too many times and then spun into many directions so everything laid on top of it is thrown away and spilled, and dropped, and broke, and twisted, and...yea, you get the picture.
maybe this is how it feels to be 21. If you're legal for booze then you're up for some more. Maybe this is why 21 is the legal age for booze...and other maturely stuff. Coz it's definitely doesn't get any easier.
Funny thing is i'm the kind of person who could find myself in pretty bad situation but simply justto hazed to do anything about it. Which is NOT a very suggestable (is this even a WORD?) thind to do. I hope you're far better off than me, and if by chance i'm somehow better of than you, then i'm sorry for being too whiny.
What with all the graduate thesis hullabaloo...wondering why i decided to did this in the first place? what am i trying to achieve?
people don't ask about it at work (later). And it's such a straining chore to do. My cousin said she still didn't understand why she did it before and shy she's a bout to do it again now, with her Magister degree.
what are I and my friends are trying to achieve?
some said they just wanna be in college a bit longer...well not me. Definitely.
maybe we (or to be safe, ME) is trying to leave a mark on this enormous, confusing world. By writing a book of research. Well at least my name is registered in a catalog in a library somewhere, though maybe nobody would know, but I would. And that's good enough for me.
Is leaving a mark THAT important?
It's hard enough as it is. Society demands so much of you. A simple human being, who apparently found yourself wound up in this space created by complex-but-rare human being.
it's confusing. I don't get it. Growing up is tough.
but then it's a tough world. Tougher than you can imagine, I always told. So i guess we should all toughen up. Besides, no good games are getting easier by the level. Not even stupid games like Dora the Explorer or Strawberry Shortcake.
so maybe this is i'm trying to say: it gets harder...but it'll worth the prize. You'll get better treasure, or better power-ups, better equipment, better cash. It's like a yin-yang thing, I think. Perfect balance. You're never under supplied. Everything with its own proper time and place :)
So maybe i'm gonna get something sweet (even though it's just self-satisfaction) if i finish this. I just hope it won't take too long and there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow :)
and do you sometimes find your brain to be over-capacitating? (i'm keeping on making up words)
and there ought to be a subject called 'Human Interaction and Relation 101'?
i'd love to attend the class. At least then i'm prepared.
and do you realize how this human-to-human thing sometimes DO takes most part of your brain that it ended up ruining other things? or simply make your head ached?
dan dosen gw bilang manusia dulu bisa bikin piramid dan semacamnya karena mereka make otak mereka sedikit lebih besar dari kapasitas yang kita pake sekarang (which is 10%)?
make sense sih...i mean, orang jaman dulu punya banyak waktu untuk berpikir. Banyaaaaak banget. They don't have TV, or BB, or whatever.
dan mungkin if you managed to use your brain more, you could do these awesome things!
i mean...mungkin orang-orang seperti penyihir atau semcamnya, do exist dan mereka orang-orang yang berhasil meng-harness fungsi lebih dari otaknya so they come off as...magical.
fair enough sih...kenapa sekarang udah ga ada orang yg percaya gituan? because of science or simply we reduced or usable brain capacity? or am I just stupid for asking these questions...
dan mungkin semua...everything that i got myself into (even though i can't quite recall HOW), adalah kado jangka panjang dari kehidupan. Thanks for bracing me up for 22 later man (let's hope we get there)!
You are your choices and so...I've made mien and I'm sticking to it, though it's hard enough to MAKE the (what you think as the) RIGHT one, let alone STICKING to it. I just hope there's a pot of gold at the end of this jumbled-rainbow, for you and I :)
