Awesome Online Collection and References!

So I got this link from friend...I tried it and within minutes I'm already satisfied.

This is a great place for references especially for those who finds getting books is a bit of a trouble

And all just with a google account ;)

DO CLICK THIS LINK: http://library.nu/

Susah Deh...

Menurut gw orang-orang yang memilih untuk hidup itu orang-orang yang berani...


Habisnya hidup itu susah banget...asli deh susah banget.
Some days made you feel you'd rather die, yet you don't. And that instinct to stay alive just won't let you be snuffed that easily, so you live on


Putting the whole afterlife-believe aside, kalau dipikir2 orang yang bunuh diri had it too easy...mereka cuma lompat dari atas gedung tinggi atau lompat ke tengah rel kereta dan semuanya selesai. 


Tapi apa iya beneran semuanya selesai?


Menurut gw ga. Mungkin selesai buat mereka tapi ga buat orang lain. Orang-orang yang terkena efek langsung dari perbuatan mereka, baik langsung atau ga. 
Syukur2 kalau efeknya bagus, kalau malah jadi nyusahin orang gimana?
Bahkan udah mati aja lo masih nyusahin orang...dan ga ada lagi kesempatan untuk minta maaf atau memperbaiki atau menebus atau apapun. Karena lo udah ga ada


Karena itulah orang-orang yang hidup itu berani, walau mereka tahu umur mereka ga panjang. Paling lama 80 tahun (on average).


Susah banget ya tulisan gw?
Ya maaf deh...udah menua nih (ha ha ha ha ha *dibaca dengan suara datar*). Menua dan terlalu banyak yang terjadi :p
(Dear me i'm geeting waaaaay tooooo ooold for this sh*t)


Semakin gw dewasa semakin gw menyadari kalau melewati satu hari itu seringnya semakin susah. Karena lama2 gw jadi semakin sadar kalau pilihan-pilihan yg gw ambil sekarang, itu beneran akan berefek signifikan ke gw sendiri nantinya. Ga usah mikirin yang jauh2 deh...pikirin aja lo mau makan apa hari ini?

Gw yakin semua orang tahu sebenarnya apa yang mereka butuhkan, tapi kadang mereka kesulitan untuk membuat pilihan yang memenuhi kebutuhan mereka ini. People tend to choose what they want, but as we know, what we want is not always what we need. bahkan gw berani bilang most of the time it's never what we need.


Lo tau lo harus makan sehat. Lo tau kalau terus makan kayak gini, badan lo akan blablabla...dsb. Intinya lo tau. Karena gw yakin lo pinter. Sekolah semua kan?
Tapi walau lo tau, lo ga ngelakuin itu. Instead lo terus makan junk food dan ga pernah makan sayur. 


Lalu (mungkin) lo akan merasakan sedikit rasa bersalah karena udah ngejahatin diri sendiri. Rasanya ga enak, walau (mungkin) cuma sebentar, lalu lupa deh, karena hal kayak gini terjadi terus menerus in daily basis sehingga akhirnya otak lo membiasakan untuk segera melupakannya.


Rasanya sayang aja ngebuang-buang otak kita sendiri. It's a very powerful gadget.


Oleh karena itu, as i was saying...hidup itu susah banget. Susaaaaaah banget...
Hari ke hari lo harus terus menerus membuat pilihan dari yang kecil2 dan remeh sampe yang besar2 dan super sulit. 
What you choose is who you are.




Maafin posting super galau ini. My head it's not where it's used to be...


Kadang gw beneran berharap obat yang ada di film Limitless beneran ditemuin...
Imagine what we can accomplish (or NOT)!
I sure could use some brain power...mine's got stuck...sama hal-hal yang...penuh kegalauan...


Gw lama-lama agak euweuh sama kata 'galau'...siapa yang mulai make sih sampe jadi populer gini??
Gw agak...gimanaaa gitu kalau gw sendiri yang make kata itu untuk menggambarkan kondisi gw sendiri...


Mari kita cek di KBBI apa itu definisi resmi dari 'galau':

ga.lau [a] ber.ga.lau a sibuk beramai-ramai; ramai sekali; kacau tidak keruan (pikiran)

Referensi: http://kamusbahasaindonesia.org/galau#ixzz1f6MVSwUL



Nah itu dia definisi resminya dari KBBI. Sibuk, ramai, kacau balau.


Tapi kenapa kemudian tiap kali orang mellow dibilangnya 'galau'?
Kenapa lagu2 mellow dibilangnya lagu 'galau'?
Mungkin karena kalau orang mellow itu lagi sedih...dan pikirannya penuh sama hal-hal yang bikin pikirannya penuh sampe dia akhirnya jadi 'galau'.
Hal-hal ini nampaknya pada umumnya adalah hal-hal percintaan...


Kalau gini logikanya...gw juga lagi galau berat (-__-")

The Question

Greetings, fake-plastic-but-utterly-cute chickies! :D

How do we get on with this here? Gw selalu bingung nyari kalimat pembuka buat ginian, that's why it always ended up awkward and tacky --'

Anyways! Bought some new books! YEAY!!

1. The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, which was ultimate fun and utter pointlessness (haha!). I love you Douglas Adams! His jokes is just SOO me! Sarcastic because the guy is just too witty in a very quirky way
2. Trainspotting, i'm a bit influenced by the movie...haven't watched it, heard it was 'best british movie ever', so I just kinda go for it...haha! haven't started reading it, but i love the book design 
3. A Clockwork Orange, because I don't quite 'get' the movie, maybe the novel would help. (as IF...I read the first sentence and I was lost. Maybe it's the cockney rhyme? Is Burgess british??)

There are two things that I can't control myself with: Books and body treatment products (am a sucker for Body Shop)..hahaha! I LOVE being a girl!

Masih 'menantangi' skripsi...yah, saya lamban...pembimbing saya tak peduli, dan saya tak peduli dia tidak peduli. Harusnya ga gini sih...tapi yaudahlah, sepertinya memang harus bersolo karir sampai lulus :)


Lalu hidup gw mau dibawa kemana? Lebih tepatnya diapain?
Gw mau gw bisa hidup dari passion gw...that is the life to envy, I think.
Tapi apakah passion gw?
...bingung deh kan...
I'm interested to many things to be honest...reading, writing, books, music, cooking, driving (yea, gw mau jadi pembalap kalo gw bisa). Tapi you can't be good at everything...lo harus fokus aja ke yang bener2 lo cintai dan kerjain. Udah.
...hmmm..padahal gw ga terlalu pengen ngerencanain hidup gw...tapi apakah dengan begitu gw bisa sukses? Coz I wanna live the GOOD life, siapa sih yang ga? Tapi itu tergantung apa definisi dari 'good' itu sendiri...buat tiap orang beda2...I haven't found mine yet.

Gila jadi twentysomething tuh ribet ya...gw ngerti banget maksud lo, Jamie Cullum ;)

Sometimes I look around and found some people really having it good...stuff just come to them, and the stuff are the stuff that they love. Ini apa maksudnya, Tuhan??
You are your choices...and your effort. Somehow gw jadi mengambil kesimpulan kalau makin susah pilihan yang lo ambil, you'll turn out better one day.

Mungkin berdasarkan hipotesa asal2an ini gw memutuskan untuk nyekripsi...hahaha!
Apa banget deh! (nulis buku 50 hlm tuh kayak gini ya rasanya...nyeeeh)

but, really, seriously, gw mau bisa bener2 hidup dri passion gw. Karena kalau pun bakalan berat, ya gw akan just keep on pushing, because knowing that I'm doing what I love made all the effort worth it, dan gw rasa ga akan ada penyesalan yang berarti sampai gw ga bisa bangun lagi and push forward :)

So, what about you?
(Yaa kalau rancu model gw...liat nanti aja deh, gw juga belum tau. I'll let you know if I find out)


Oh, Oh! I just found this new awesome, super creative game: http://www.bored.com/game/play/273/Causality_.html
It's called Causality, it's free. Your whole objective is to kill ALL the Stickmen without the other Stickmen watching. I got addicted...sumpah!

You Already Know These

Now that I think of it, gw suka banget sama ayam2 di background ini. They're CUTE! with their fake fur, and fake plastic eyes, fake plastic claws and all...

They said, you know, those ancient alien theorists, that we're a hybrid of alien-humanoid DNA. 

that's kinda crazy. right?

sebenarnya sebelum gw familiar sama the whole ancient aliens thingy, gw terpikir why we humans seem so out of place on Earth. the only thing that made us look natural is because we lived here for waaaaay too long. if you think of it, and observe...animals are built perfectly to adapt and harness whatever the green earth gave. i mean, they got built in compass, they can tell when storms are coming without any calculation or without watching the skies, they seem to be in sync with the whole system you know, like in the Avatar thing...

but we seem so weird compared to them. we need to create our own environment to survive, as minimum as it is...we need to settle while the rest of the animals species is migrating every year. constantly in motion (panah kiri keyboard laptop gw rusak...ternyata se-ga enak itu...meh). you know, those kind of stuff...

don't you think that's weird? mungkin harusnya spesies terpintar di bumi itu mentok sampe simpanse until we came along.

sebenarnya ini terpikir gara2 gw nonton The Great Migrations-nya NGC...dan lama2 jadi makin aneh...dan tiba2 i bumped into this whole ancient aliens theory (remember, they called it a THEORY. i think they mean business), and they just like justify my whole thought. it's totally twilight zone, man. i think i'm turning hippy.

oh no.

but maybe...this is why it is soo important to us to know what is our purpose (beside because of our enormous brain). mungkin karena kita merasa aneh disini, but here we are, makanya kita jadi perlu tau "buat apa gw disini? mau ngapain?"

it's not power...power consumes you (most of the time)

it's not money...they make you paranoid...haha! :p

it's not...eerrr...what else? love? have nothing to say about that one man. too abstract to put for words. believe me, human race have tried and i think we're still quite clueless.

probably you think i'm quite the atheist by now...menurut gw apa yg lo percaya itu tergantung sama apa yang lo encounter dalam keseharian dan lingkungan lo. jadi mungkin kalau mau memperoleh that true faith, you should isolate yourself from the world...apalagi kalo lo gampang terpengaruhnya kayak gw :p

kayak kemaren i chat with this guy on omegle and boy did he went all religious on me the moment he knew i'm from Indonesia. thought i was one of those girls with burkah and veil and stuff. where the hell did that came from?

the terrorists...yeah. those bearded mindless people

dua jam gw chat sama dia ngomongin isu2 berat dan sebisa mungkin ngeyakinin dia klo ga semua orang islam maniak bikin bom dan tau nomor telepon markas Al-Qaeda (shit)

but! during the whole thing gw merasa sangat pintar. ahaha! entahlah, rasanya itu chat yg berguna aja dibanding orang2 horny yang cuma mau sex-chat. 

tapi kalo dipikir knp ya?

kenapa penting sekali untuk memaksakan kepercaayaan kita ke orang lain? dulu perang salib, sekarang teroris muslim...it's history all over again.

padahal kan harusnya klo memang cuma ada satu Tuhan, ga penting gimana cara lo berhubungan as long as you're okay and believe with it dan ga nyusahin/ganggu orang lain. kan emang ga ada agama yg lebih bener dari yg lain. it's not important. spread love, not hate. nyusahin deh. ga cape apa benci2 ga karuan gitu sm orang lain?

well, klo pun di dlm the holy book disebut hal2 yg mengandung kekerasan...WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU FOCUS ON THAT, FOR F*CK SAKE?

that's why i think it's not very healthy to just read it without understanding any ethics. 

i LOOOVE ethics. i LOOOVE its simplicity. kalo ga mau dijahatin, ya jgn ngejahatin orang. anggap orang lain itu elo...mau ga lo sendiri dijahatin? ga kan? lagian entar karma juga meen...nabung hal2 buruk, as if there isn't enough bad things as it is.

mungkin kalo untuk implikasinya sekarang akan berbeda. lo orang baik2, ga pernah ngapa2in orang (tapi gw ga percaya sih...we must've hurt people somewhere in our life. we're humans, not saints), tapi tiba2 kena kejadian yg buruk bgt. mungkin ini perbedaan sudut pandang aja. kita sama orang lain punya sudut pandang. mungkin lo pernah melakukan sesuatu yg kurang enak ke org lain...di elo itu kadarnya ya cuma segitu, tapi mungkin di dia beda. maybe it hurt that person so...dan makanya skrg lo kena bad karma. 

believe it or not, i learned that from a manga. 

mangaka kadang lebih pinter dari guru/dosen gw. on life, i mean :))

dan kenapa pelajaran membosankan? kenapa jumlah murid yang beneran suka sekolah bisa kehitung jari?

padahal kita makhluk yg dasarnya sangat ingin tahu. learning developed from that basic need of knowing. harusnya kan kalo kayak gitu belajar dan segalanya itu kegiatan yang luar biasa asiknya.

but i learn kalau mungkin ini jadi salah karena di-institusikan dan dibisniskan. i dont mind the system, even though there would be nice to have some change.ya susah sih...i think we descent too far down the shithole. ngekritik sih gampang... :p (it's easy! sumpah deh! bisa bikin lo jadi dosen bertahun2 cuma gara2 ini aja. Contact me if you need living proof)

i think trouble really came to the human race the moment we invented money and currency and decided to trade with it.

"Men make counterfeit money; in many more cases, money makes counterfeit men." 

-Sydney J. Harris-

P.S.: The dude was an american journalist, if you wanna know ;)

It's Just LIke RPG!

untung gw udah mandi...dari tadi rasanya bauuu banget...

and i just realized it's been a while since i posted and well...the tables had turned since then. The tables had turned too many times and then spun into many directions so everything laid on top of it is thrown away and spilled, and dropped, and broke, and twisted, and...yea, you get the picture.

maybe this is how it feels to be 21. If you're legal for booze then you're up for some more. Maybe this is why 21 is the legal age for booze...and other maturely stuff. Coz it's definitely doesn't get any easier.

Funny thing is i'm the kind of person who could find myself in pretty bad situation but simply justto hazed to do anything about it. Which is NOT a very suggestable (is this even a WORD?) thind to do. I hope you're far better off than me, and if by chance i'm somehow better of than you, then i'm sorry for being too whiny.
What with all the graduate thesis hullabaloo...wondering why i decided to did this in the first place? what am i trying to achieve?
people don't ask about it at work (later). And it's such a straining chore to do. My cousin said she still didn't understand why she did it before and shy she's a bout to do it again now, with her Magister degree.
what are I and my friends are trying to achieve?
some said they just wanna be in college a bit longer...well not me. Definitely.
maybe we (or to be safe, ME) is trying to leave a mark on this enormous, confusing world. By writing a book of research. Well at least my name is registered in a catalog in a library somewhere, though maybe nobody would know, but I would. And that's good enough for me.

Is leaving a mark THAT important?
It's hard enough as it is. Society demands so much of you. A simple human being, who apparently found yourself wound up in this space created by complex-but-rare human being.
it's confusing. I don't get it. Growing up is tough.

but then it's a tough world. Tougher than you can imagine, I always told. So i guess we should all toughen up. Besides, no good games are getting easier by the level. Not even stupid games like Dora the Explorer or Strawberry Shortcake.
so maybe this is i'm trying to say: it gets harder...but it'll worth the prize. You'll get better treasure, or better power-ups, better equipment, better cash. It's like a yin-yang thing, I think. Perfect balance. You're never under supplied. Everything with its own proper time and place :)

So maybe i'm gonna get something sweet (even though it's just self-satisfaction) if i finish this. I just hope it won't take too long and there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow :)


and do you sometimes find your brain to be over-capacitating? (i'm keeping on making up words)
and there ought to be a subject called 'Human Interaction and Relation 101'?
i'd love to attend the class. At least then i'm prepared.
and do you realize how this human-to-human thing sometimes DO takes most part of your brain that it ended up ruining other things? or simply make your head ached?

dan dosen gw bilang manusia dulu bisa bikin piramid dan semacamnya karena mereka make otak mereka sedikit lebih besar dari kapasitas yang kita pake sekarang (which is 10%)?
make sense sih...i mean, orang jaman dulu punya banyak waktu untuk berpikir. Banyaaaaak banget. They don't have TV, or BB, or whatever.
dan mungkin if you managed to use your brain more, you could do these awesome things!
i mean...mungkin orang-orang seperti penyihir atau semcamnya, do exist dan mereka orang-orang yang berhasil meng-harness fungsi lebih dari otaknya so they come off as...magical.

fair enough sih...kenapa sekarang udah ga ada orang yg percaya gituan? because of science or simply we reduced or usable brain capacity? or am I just stupid for asking these questions...

dan mungkin semua...everything that i got myself into (even though i can't quite recall HOW), adalah kado jangka panjang dari kehidupan. Thanks for bracing me up for 22 later man (let's hope we get there)!
You are your choices and so...I've made mien and I'm sticking to it, though it's hard enough to MAKE the (what you think as the) RIGHT one, let alone STICKING to it. I just hope there's a pot of gold at the end of this jumbled-rainbow, for you and I :)